I Was In Love !!

By Ira - Monday, March 08, 2021

7th March, 2021

Okay, I'm saying this in the starting of the article only that I really don't know what I'm gonna write, it might end up into a comedy post or a serious, emotional letter. So whatever it'll be, bear with me. 🤭

The lights are dim and "kahin to hogi woh" is playing in background. I love this particular line, "kahin to Hain nasha tere mere har mulakat mein" ❤️🙈.

I wrote so many letters, post for him. And may be that's how I've been expressing my feelings over the year, about which he certainly has no idea. With all the letters and articles, it feels like my emotions are dead. I express it but it has no significance in real life.

In any way, this letter turns out to be the last, then, I really wish he could read it once.

I don't know how you became so important in my life all of the sudden. I still remember that feeling when.....

8th March, 2021

And I couldn't write it. I don't know what the reason was. May be I didn't wanted to express my emotions or may be I know it won't effect anything in my life.

Few days back, I saw a dream. And that's why I had called you. I remember I was so high in medicines and almost unconscious. And still you were the only person I thought about. I don't know what that dream was, but certainly if I had called you, then surely there was something related to you in it.

I don't know how but I always considered as a Perfect Person. Don't think it's related to studies, or looks or anything else. I don't know what it is but I find everything related to you Perfect. Your smile, your happiness, your love, your anger, everything is Perfect for me.

I don't know but after meeting you I forgot the count of proposal I had. I don't know who was the last person who proposed me, for me , it's Always you.

Sometimes I think does our actual break up happened on 7th March or on the day when you first time decided to lie. I don't know but the day, you said me everything, I felt like I was cheated, someone close ditched me, someone purposely left me in tears, someone who never loved me. I felt like I was talking to starnger that time. A stranger who cheated me possibly. No matter what I do but this remains in my heart. And I actually hate you for this.

You know I feel like you are a stranger for me now, who knows everything about me, but I don't know anything. I don't know what's happening in your life. I don't know who consoles you when you feel low. I don't know who is that new girl who is hitting on you😉. Kidding!!

I still do remember your favourite colour that's sky blue. Your favourite movie,

Srimanthudu, your favourite actor, Mahesh Babu, your favourite food, Hyderabadi biryani. 🤭 And may be I remember everything about you.

But I'm not able to distinguish between truth and lie. It feels everything was lie. There was no truth in it. I remember studying about hormones where our teacher had said that girls takes time in accepting love but once they accept the person, they accept completely. May be that's what happened with me.

I don't know how you became so important. Everything related to you was important. I don't know how you were so close to me. And I actually don't know how I survived without you.

After this one year, I realise I can live without you but there isn't a single day when I don't miss you. ❤️

When you broke off, it was love for me that I wanted to remain single. But now, it's Choice and may be a little Hope that you'll come back, that's why I'm Single. I know my best friend would have never broke my heart but I still want you to be my best friend, lover, everything.

I believe career is important. You were correct. But what's the purpose of living when you get your favourite job, favourite life but still not that one person who loves you unconditionally.

I've decided I'll fall in love again the day I get the same feeling for someone as I had for you. That same excitement, the same unconditionally one, the same forever one. ❤️

Few days back, I had a dream that we met in Kota. I know it's a lie. But still a beautiful lie. I don't remember anything apart from the fact that you worn that black shirt 🙈💙 and we just hugged each other. Just hug nothing more than that !! 😬😏 The most unrealistic dream of my life. Our first meet !! 🥺

Few of my friends says me why do I remember you. You have forgotten me. You might have someone else in your life, it's one year, if he could resist niot talking to your for a year, he can live without you throughout his life and like these they say so many things. But I don't know, deep down I still have feelings or hope that you miss me. That you search me everywhere. That you still want to talk. That you still wanna be together. The day this hope will die, everything will end for me.

I've bad cold again. These days I sleep listening to your Voice. I don't know but I'm not able to sleep properly. I sleep for 2 hours at night and then I wake up. And couldn't sleep for next one hour. And that's why it's your voice at the end which calms my mind possibly.

Even I had a dream this morning that you called me and we talked. I don't know but it was exact your voice. May be it was mind playing some imaginary scenario so that I could sleep.