Short Stories (Edited)

By Ira - Sunday, January 17, 2021

Don't you all ever call me that grand maa who has stories to share at bed time. But I actually have lots of stories to share. And I understand why I've so much to share. It's because there is no one to listen.

I've Akka though. And she listens to every story but sometimes I don't even share few things. It's out of love. I really don't want to spoil her mood, saying things which has no significance in real life. Obviously, it's just my wishes/dream/fantasy, the other person is not even aware of the things.

Honestly speaking when I started writing, I had something else in my mind. But now, I'm gonna write about somebody. Someone you all knew and I'm just trying to make things little sweeter today, don't know what it would be at the end. I'm actually on medicines and I really don't know what I'll write. And it's all because my mood is off and he is the one, whose name can lit it up. He is actually lucky, because usually I get irritated with anyone name when I'm sad!

I remember saying the last time, that, I've moved on. I don't remember him anymore and like these many other things. I won't say it was a lie. Because I actually moved on. But you know, there is a truth behind it too.

I still admire him. Like him the same way I used to. But I stopped expressing it. And it's casual, right? I mean the other person doesn't even think about you for a second and here you are crying and dying for him. What's the use?

Recently (few hours back), one of my family friend, pinged me on Whatspp. The thing was he initiated the conversation betweeen us, which was on full stop, since, new year wish.

We talked for few minutes. The topic varied from Signal to Quora, where it finally stopped.

The only thing I liked about him was he initiated the conversation. We are family friends from last so many years. I never talked to him, he never did to me. Even we could have never talked if we had not met again in the wedding. We talked about few things. And we ended here with the devil emoji.

Honestly, when he messaged me all of the sudden. I was shocked. Like I never expected that message. And I liked it when he cared to drop one.

I took a small rewind to my life. And started thinking about my someone. He too used to that sometimes. But he never did that after we ended the relationship. He never cared even. Even on my birthday, he didn't even had a thought about me. Nor on new year even. And I understand why.

But honestly, I'm tired of understanding everything about him. He actually thinks that I'll understand everything even when we won't say. And honestly, I try. But this time, when I left. I understood. He never wanted to explain or say. He just wanted to run away. And that's the brutal truth. I'm tired of waiting for his messages, which are never going to come . And it's terrifying !!

I just thought for a moment. He has female friends. He messages them for sure. But still in 24 hours, he doesn't get 5 seconds for me. On the other side, I see a person, who has no contacts with me, who even don't know me properly, is trying atleast. Don't think I like him. He is just my good friend that too family friends. Nothing much.

The point is, I've read somewhere. That when a boy likes/ loves you, then he actually do things for you. You don't need to say or arrange anything. It's his responsibility. He will do it, out of love. And now, I actually understand this.

No one is so busy that they can't have 5 seconds to message you. No one is busy to take time for the person they admire. And I had seen it.

The only difference is one is trying to while the other one is not even thinking for a second about it. Though my friend had no relationship (not sure though). While the other never accepted that he was in relationship. No comparisons but what I felt, I wrote.

Don't take things differently. He didn't initiated the conversation because he likes me. I know we both are just friends. He doesn't even know me properly forget about likes. He is quite friendly and talks to everyone like that (possibly).

Right now, I got my reminder saying, it's okay to have bad days. And trust me, I actually believe it's completely okay to have bad days, because it teaches you things, no one ever could.

I don't know why I'm writing this post. I'm already on medicines and I actually don't know what I've written. I don't want to compare them even. My friend as well someone, they both are good person. But today, after days, someone made me feel better because of their behaviour. Soemthing I could never expect from somebody. He is good in disappointing and behaving rudely though ;) . Which is not at all his character.

I like one thing about that someone. He tries to be rude, arrogant. And he almost reach there. But I don't know. I had seen his every face. From that innocent baby face to that angry bird face. And that's why I'm saying this. He is the best man. Very good nature he has. Soft hearted to be honest. He doesn't show this. But I had seen his worst and best side. And that's why know. If he hurts someone, he too feels sad about it. He won't show but deep inside it'll hurt him. And may be that's why I still admire him.

Honestly, the way my friend initiated it, without any pending messages, or any reasonable reason. I actually liked it. It was an aware text related to some funny extract and it turned out to be something else.

Last time, last month possibly, I had tried messaging my ex. But after all these, I know he doesn't even want to see my text. He doesn't even want to see my name in his chat lists. While writing this, I got tears. But sadfully, it's true.

You know, sometimes we think we moved on. But then, some little things hurt us. Healing is actually hard. It's a never ending process of self love. And may be sometimes, it's okay to shed tears on things, where we had thought that it won't hurt further. And honestly, I think I got tears after so many days for this things. And I actually know, I don't want him anymore.

Sometimes I'm sad. Wishing he could be in my life. But he makes it more messy ( he comes and go, wish he could stay forever). He doesn't want to converse even. So, it's okay. I don't want too.

I'm not weak to call that person again just for my happiness atleast. Honestly, last time his messaged didn't raised my heart beats like it usually did. And I understand why.

I'm really sorry. I don't know what I've written. I'm half conscious even.

I'm adding some of my favourite pins that are kept my gallery. I had saved them, when I was actually a lot more sad. Honestly, today, I'm not even 1% of it. And that's what make me say, I moved on.