WE MET - 31st October !!
I wrote around 50 posts till now. In these 50, 30 are published one while rest are kept in draft. Sometimes, when I used to be free, I really thought of writing something, but at that very point , I didn't wanted too. While doing all this now, I realise that it's highly difficult to do all this tasks. You need creativity and most important of all you need interest to write at that moment. I write because I enjoy. Out off all the sadness in the world, this is the only means of my escape!! It's been few months since I started writing. And to be honest, I learned so many things but most of all now, I started appreciating writers. It's really a great deal to write. Me, being an amateur writer, takes 2 hours for a normal post. And if that post gets lengthy then it takes 2 hours continuously for 2-3 days. In this also, I am not including the editing work. Editing takes extra of 2-3 hours. Confused?? Thinking why I am saying all this!! Because I learnt that everything requires efforts. Why do I write? Because there are people out there who reads it. I put efforts because I get efforts in return.
So I learnt a very important thing, "everything requires efforts whether it's writing, studying, friendship or relationship".
I tried keeping my relationship one-sided. But now, it's no where. I can't see it. It's done. It's over. And most probably, it'll never start again. I'll never put the same efforts again. I'll never love him again.
There is a famous saying that, "when life gives you lemons,you should make lemonade". But does making lemonade that easy? I don't know how to squeeze lemons even, forget about making it. Don't think I'm fool but I really don't know because I always cut that from wrong side and that's why it happens. But what matters here is that when life gives you opportunity, you should try. Try till the last. And when you see that there is no further possiblity of this, then leave it.
Why I am saying this here? Because I left everything. I left everything after trying it so many times. All went in vain. But I'm not sad about this. I'm sad that, again I need to prove and honestly, I'm not tired of trying but I'm tired of proving every time.
"Tired of proving the same thing to same person who is never gonna understand this."
From no one to creating a small page now. Things have changed. Writing all this here because expressing my views directly this time doesn't make sense. It's 29th October today. I had been waiting for this day, from last so many weeks. The level of excitement i have today is same as I had on my birthday. To be honest, I was waiting for this day just because we met. And I really wished to convey this message. Because I know, he doesn't remember it. But after all this, "a big no, I don't want to say anything even." This time completely silent. No arguments, no fighting, no crying and most importantly, the favourite, "no drama".
The day we met..the day we started...
And the day we left..
I have been writing about a particular person in this blog. Even I had dedicated this blog to that one person. To be honest, he is damn special to me. That's why when I deleted his number, I deleted mine too. Deleting my very own number hurts me a little more. It had that cute photo as it's profile picture with the teddy bear. And I can't find that picture anymore. Anyways, I'll save the number only when you'll save mine. It's not rudeness but my self respect now.
" It's been one year since we met...29th October"
It's not an article neither a post. But just feelings expressed in few words. From writing a small poem for our story to writing a long article for that person. Today, the day has finally come to end this chapter now.
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It's hurts when you lose someone you love. But then, you do try to accept your fate and move on. Your eyes still carry the pain, but it's done holding the tears. Your heart still carries those screams, but the lips are tired of saying now. The nights are still heavy, but pillows is tired of holding rain. The rain of tears which you have never seen. So,yes I have cried for you out of my soul. And that only was a big deal for me. I have fought with God for you. Laughing na?? Trust me, I have literally fought with him that how he can do this to me and still dared to be called God. I have fought with all my friends who tried to explain me how you are never going to come back to my life. I screamed at them for telling the truth. I truly hated all who told me that you are not going to come back. So for me to realise that you and me have no chance to meet again, is a BIG DEAL!! I still dream. But now my dreams are not about getting us together. I can't gather the courage to see us together forever. So even my dreams are scared of my reality.
But I miss you. I miss being with you. I miss our talks. I miss your name in my last dialed list. I miss your text at the top of the list. I miss your voice. I miss the way you used to take my name. I miss that "idiot". I miss your good night in that sleepy, heavy voice. I miss that "5 minutes more" messages. I miss your "video call stupidity". I miss your "word game". I miss your "hide and seek game on videocall". Oh God , I miss everything that we were and that we are supposed to be. It's not always sad, you know. Sometimes, these little moments are where I really live and smile. It's like your memories that I have been holding on to, like a broken boat in the sea of storm. But even after all this. You are still my sunshine, even after drenching my soul into pain. You are still my smile, even after making my eyes bleed. You are still my favourite person, even after making me hate myself. You are ...you are still...I don't ...I just don't know...I just ....I just miss you... I miss you like hell. And I still....I still love you.
May be "love you" can be normal but "nenu ninnu premisthunannu" is completely different feeling for me.
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Every coin has two sides, like this every story has two sides. So was ours. They lost amidst the choatic world was a sweet poem based on our story.
Just a smallest gift for him!❤️
I wrote them in Telugu. If we could have talked then I would have sent this personally. Writing the same in English.
To the world most busiest person, hey! Remember me, yes, I'm that one whom you had blocked just 2 days before her birthday. Seriously, I'm never gonna forget this ever. It really hurted me alot. I waited whole day for that one particular text. But it never came ☹️.
It's one year today. I wish you atleast remember the day. And to be honest, I wish you message me today 😂.
We had a cute ups and down in our story. From no one to everyone to again no one. We had a beautiful journey. 💖
You were always loving and caring. May be we were not destined to meet. Otherwise we could have ended up as best couple. 🤭
Love you forever! ❤️
----- Ankita
Well, you are the most kind hearted and sweetest person I ever met. Though little (actually a unit greater than little) rude sometimes. But I know you are really a good person.
We met, we talked, we loved , we broke. This is exactly our story. I never know what you felt throughout the year. I really don't know whether you ever loved me or not. But for me, it was always special. I really could wait for you for years. And honestly, I'm still waiting. I really can't see someone in your place. When you broke up, I felt bad and alot sad. But may be you too felt the same. I really could never analyse what was our relationship and all for you. And you never said even. Whatever be it, it's end now. Forgetting you is next to impossible for me. But yeah, as you used to say, that, "leave me, I beg you and what not". So finally I left you. I left you in the hopes that you'll realise it someday. I'll wait in the hope that you'll see my efforts some day. "Always" is never a myth for me. But please don't expect me to put efforts if you can't do the same in return. I can't water dead flowers. No warning, no drama, it's that simple this time.
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"Dedicated to no one". 🥺☹️
Will find someone special after 10 years to dedicate this post .😂 Wrote this after having around 100 mood swings, 3 days continuous fever , 72 hours headache and 5 days cough and cold . And still can't have clear throat. And he still can't see the love 🤣. Lol, it's medical student writing this.😂 On the true hand, it's not written for any particular person. Just wrote this as a part of interest. From now on , even from last 2 post, I openly say that my post is not dedicated to that specific person. Though the blog is still dedicated to him. One should never forget the person who inspires you , for me, he is an inspiration for writing. Anyways, this is the end to all this. Atleast, I might forget now.🥺
Thank you !! 😁
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