Self Love - 30 Journals

In the era of technology , we all are heading ahead with this modern world. But what we are lacking behind is self love. In order to love everyone we must need to love overselves first.

 A love to last is a blog based on it . And that's why I won't talk about this again. This time I am writing about a journal from Pinterest. It had around 30 questions and we need to answer them . This is particularly based on Self love.

Starting this...

Q.1 List 10 things you love about yourself . 

I am quiet a self lover and I really love everything about myself. Still here is the top 10 things :

a) my smile :) 

b) my curly hairs 

c) high energy

d) positive attitude

e) my taste in food

f) my choices and craziness

g) my caring nature 

h) my leadership quality

I) my tiny little fingers (they are actually that cute and small)

j) my life  

Q.2 List 5 things you are proud of.

a) my speech and elocution , starting of my self love and eventually becoming school leader .

b) my past , whether it's bad or good , I really like everything about it because it was my choice to be like that.

c) getting rank 1 in class 10 , it was my mamma's dream and then getting that medal in my coaching , this too was for her.

d) my parents and brother , they are best in every aspect. 

e) my nature and attitude  , no matter how much someone hurt me , I will never do the same in return and will forgive them too , this is my father's style  too.

Q.3 Describe how you take care of yourself.

This is pretty interesting. I never shared this with anyone. I'm quiet an ambitious girl who really want to achieve things on her own. I often talk to myself when I'm depressed. I give treat to myself for my success. Sometimes, when I fail even though I tried my level best ,then I do try to get my smile back. I do meditation for my internal peace. Though I am stubborn still sometimes I try to let everything fall so that I can see the new sun. I usually say this to myself ,that , I am unique and amazing . And I really can do everything no matter what. :)

Q.4 Does your self care need improvement? How would you improve it ?

Yes my self care need improvement. I just need to change two things :

a) my habit of trusting people : I actually stopped doing this now. I believe one thing now , " don't ever let your ears hear what your eyes didn't see and don't ever let your mouth say what your heart doesn't feel". And I'm practicing this daily . It's valid for everyone around me. If you don't have proof then don't talk about it infront of me , I really won't accept. And most important of all will this ever help me? Of yes then do share otherwise I don't have time .

b) letting go off people : I had started doing this and too some extent I really removed some of my toxic friends who just wished to ruin everything. 

Q.5 If someone asked you  to describe yourself , how would you ? 

I'm a kind of hopeless romantic with little craziness and a lot of passion. I'm stubborn, passionate about dreams and fully energetic person with lots of humour. Its really hard for me to change  perspective about people. I have one specific quality , I either like or not , there is no in between. If I don't then I would treat like every other person. Quite helpful and supportive in nature (valid for everyone). I need freedom at every thing. And the best part about me is that I stick to my words. If I say I won't talk on this topic again then be sure this is the last time you are encountering it. I don't fuss about my past everytime . And neither like to talk about my personal stuffs to everyone (I've few people for this). I'm quiet a private person and I really don't like sharing my photos or personal things and stories with anyone but if I do then be sure you are special :).

Q.6 List 5 things you're good at.

I'm seriously good at these things:

a) sketching (not talking about painting , I love making human portrait or nature images).

b) comedy (I can make anyone laugh at serious moments ).

c) acceptance attitude (I literally accept every default and move on when it's time to)

d) being optimistic and motivating (imagine the worst situation and still I can motivate you ).

e) overthinking, stubbornness and craziness (can't do anything )

Q.7 List 10 things you wish someone told you every single day .

A) you are amazing and unique 

B) your flaws are beautiful  

C) you look good this way 

D) your hair is beautiful 

E) in love with your smile every single time 

F) you can do this 

G) I believe you (this was the line "tom"  told me when I couldn't believe myself even)

H) I see you in white apron 

I) I see you serving the nation 

J) I love you no matter what happen and  I won't leave you :) 

Q.8 Why do you deserve the best in life? 

I just have one answer to this . Because I am ready to give my best no matter how tough the circumstances are. My brother taught me one particular thing that is  to take desicion wisely and once taken,then, stick to it no matter how tough it is. He always said that the desicion you take now later becomes your responsibility to fulfill it . 

Q.9  What's something you survived that should have destroyed you ? 

I think the thougest thing I survived was my breakup. I never expected that from him . There was a point in my life where I almost wanted to end my life. Not because I was weak but because I couldn't share my feelings to anyone. Their was no peace of mind. I was in that stage where I couldn't sleep , eat or do anything.  Surviving that point and now becoming happy is the best gift I ever gave to myself :) 

Q.10 How did that event make you stronger?

This totally changed my view. Now , I don't need someone . I don't prioritize people. Neither trust everyone. I love being alone to a lot extent now with few people. Most importantly , he taught me an important lesson that expectation kills. And now I don't hope neither expect anything from anyone. 

Q.11 What does love mean to you?

For me , love is a fabulous feeling that can either make you or destroy you. Not talking about parents or siblings love. For me , my love is always tom. I can wait for him till years .  He trusted me when I couldn't trust myself even. And that's why I can never really forget him. Love is acceptance of all the flaws and letting go of harsh past . It's about knowing each other spiritually. I really feel that there are greater coincidences that allow people to fall in love. That's why we meet so many people every day yet that one particular become important all of sudden. Love is a must experience for everyone.  It will tell you what you exactly desire in your life. That feeling of praying for someone daily though you know that you won't meet again is unexplainable. Basically love is just oxytocin , dopamine, serotonin and pituitary gland effect. ;-) This line , "a woman never changes a man instéad a man changes himself to be the woman" relatively holds true for every relationship . It's simple , "if you forgive , you love".

Q.12 What brings you the most joy?

I have list to this but I will just mention about the important one. 

A) talking to my parents, brother and loved ones

B) working on my dream . I am damn passionate about few things .

C) helping someone in any form 

D) making someone laugh and smile :) 

Q.13 Write yourself a thank you letter.

Dear Ankita , thank you very much for surviving all the bad moments . Thank you for hoping that things will  get better with time . Thank you for working on your dream. Thank you for keeping yourself always happy. Thank you for seeing the good in everything. It really keeps me positive. Thank you for loving your life so much.  Thank you for loving and forgiving everyone . It really keeps my mind at peace. Thank you for giving all the proud moments. Thank you for living each day and loving the present. Thank you for everything my love :) 

Q.14 What do you do to relax? How often do you do that ? 

I do following things to relax :

A) meditation : around 3-4 times per week if I am happy or each day when things go out of my control .

B) listening to music and watching movie or series  : do everytime when I am sad or depressed . Also at times for motivating myself.

C) blogging : I've around 6-7 posts kept at draft and I really like writing things. Do around every two days in a week .

D) remembering God : this I do everyday no matter how busy my schedule is (sometimes it gets hectic with classes and my laziness). 

Q.15 What's your favourite comedy movie or show ? Why?

I really don't think I have any favourite. I like tarrak mehta Ka ooltah chashmah because I had been watching it since childhood. I also like tom and jerry , and oggy and the cockroaches. I love cartoons sometimes. I like all comedy films. I don't have any special movie.  

Q.16 What's your favourite personality trait? Why?

My favourite personality trait is to be present at the moment when someone need you and to actually care. I've seen people doing that to me when I needed that's why its my favourite trait. The one was when I was emotionally worse. And my boyfriend that time messaged me saying I trust you . And you should really remove all this from your mind. May be that  time I needed him the most and he was there.  Also , my friends when I was moving away from people . She was actually there to take care of me and to listen to me . This was the best gift my friend gave me :) (though she will never read this, she is that lazy and my then boyfriend (tom) couldn't read this as I won't say him that I wrote about you). 

Q.17 List your accomplishments of the day . How do you feel? 

I just did one thing today. That is to keep myself positive. I am little tensed about my career. I asked one of my friend for help. Though he believed my goal and tried to make me positive. Still I'm not able to . I'm an overthinker so over estimating the situation is quiet easy.  Though I wished that friend could have kept our problem aside and tried listening to what I really want to say. Still I am thankful that he did tried to some extent. Anyways , he isn't that comfortable with me I guess. Feeling much better though . 

Q.18 Write yourself 10 compliments.

I'm writing those which I have got in real life :-

A) You look beautiful and your smile is genuine

B) You look like a doctor

C) I can see the burning desire in you 

D) You actually fulfilled your dreams.

E) Wish people could feel things deeply like you 

F) Your handwriting is beautiful

G) You look cute this way 

H) Wish he could stay with you 

I) You are perfect like this 

J) I love you for what you are :) 

These are my favourite compliments and I really admire them . 

Q.19 If you could feel a certain way all day everyday what would it be?

I'll resemble this to three feelings :

The very first could be of happiness . The feeling of craziness and laughter is the best . No matter whats happening around I really want to feel this feeling always. 

Second is related to my career. I wish I could feel that success feeling always. I have noticed a different smile on myself when I work hard and achieve it. No other feeling can substitute it again. 

Lastly , the feeling of love. This is particularly related to my feelings towards tom. I really don't want to have that feeling for anyone else. There was a different smile on my face and different calmness in mind. It wasn't a excited feeling but instead a really peaceful and soothing one. 

Q.20 What's stopping you from having that feeling everyday ? 

To be honest I've reasons for all three. 

1) I get this feeling frequently but when I overthink and over estimate then it gets vanished. Also , I'm not that happy in my personal life . I try not to show my emotions to everyone so generally I laugh and smile but I really think their is some sadness within me . But obviously things get better with time. So it will change. Life is all about problems and solutions only . 

2) The feeling of success will be achieved that day when I will get into my dream college (read as our dream college). Getting those medals and nomination are ladder for it. But the final destination is that only. :)

3) This isn't possible because he doesn't love me. The day he told me the truth (which I really appreciate) , is the day when I stopped my feelings towards him . I could wait for him for years like now but I know he won't make a single step to make this again. Also , I don't want to feel this from anyone else that's why I really don't want to go in any relationship again. But if it's tom and if he really changes himself then surely I will. 

Q.21 Are those things real or excuses?

For me it's real. I am more in reality now. I'll surely try to change point 1 for me. I'll really getting back my smile again.  The success feeling will come soon . I'll really work hard to achieve it again . The last one is not in my control. I can just wait for him that's set. Can't do anything now. I tried my best but when I got to know that he doesn't love me then it's useless for me to try now :)

Q.22 Describe your favourite childhood memory.

I've lots of my favourite childhood memory. The best of all is related to my brother. When I was in kindergarten , I had won prize in studies and teachers have gifted me chocolate (cupcake) for that . I remember sharing that chocolate with Bhaiya (brother) . And how cutely we were eating together. Till day he eats my chocolate and everything and I still share. He is just love. This was the best memory I ever had. I have alot of more than this but no one can beat this one. 

Encountering in my professional career then becoming school leader and representing my school in OTA along with my 3 more batchmates is the best of all. I remember being selected to meet the Army head . This is professionally my best memory. 

Q.23 Take your journal and go to a peaceful spot outside and write about how you feel in this moment. 

I really don't want to this now. Will surely add this when I will be at the state of peace of mind. 

Q.24 How do you want to remembered. 

I really want to get remembered as one of the nation servant. I wish people remember me saying that she was a brave lady. I really want to be remembered as a motivational person in the society. And when people talk about me then no matter what they give respect to my name . And they motivate the coming generation to be like that . That's it. 

Q.25 List 5 simple things that make you happy. 

I've list still adding 5 things :

A) Spending time with my family and friends

B) Doing my favourite things like writing , watching movie , eating my favourite food ,  reading , listening to music etc.

C) Working for my dream. I'm quiet passionate about few things in my life.  

D) Sleeping and getting that peaceful ,calm  mind. 

E) Talking to my favourite person. 

Q.26 What's your favourite holiday . Describe your feelings on that day. 

My favourite holiday is of Chitragupta puja. It's celebrated in our caste only after diwali (not in religion even , only our caste people are allowed to do this). It is said that Chitragupta god is the one who writes about all the deeds you do and he is the one who decides your destiny. That's why in our community education is given the utmost importance. Because it's said that our ancestors were the one who used to study and do things related to finance and all.

I've beautiful memory of this event year.  On that day we are not allowed to read and write. Our books are kept in puja. So we don't study all day. After puja , we all cousin just meet each other and watch movie. We all dance together that time (we meet after so many days ) .We all go out and do shopping , visit places or anything that we can do. 

P.S : I don't support caste system . It's just that this is specifically done here. People outside the caste can do too but no one knows the rituals and all. 

Q.27 Who is your role model and how are you already like he or she . 

My role model is Dr. A.P.J Abdul Kalam and my brother. I really admire both of them . 

Dr.Kalam is one of the few people who worked selflessly for nation. I am reading his novel , Wings of Fire and it's literally a must read book for all. I really want to help my nation without any selfish purpose. I do want to help people and I never want to earn through corruption. My father never did anything wrong. He never took bad money nor supported it. And I really want to this too. My brother is my first inspiration. It's him who inspired me to work hard. It's him who encourages me always. He always supports me. The best part about him is that he has a dream and he nurtures it. That's why I like people who work for their dream. I too do this because he always motivated me to work for my passion. 

Q.28 What's an embarrassing moment you look back on and laugh about now?

This story is around 2006 -07 . Someone rang the door bell that time. My father told me that if someone asks about him . Then say that your father is not at home. I checked and they asked the same. Without seeing who they are, I said them directly what my father told me and left. After few seconds my father got call from the same person. He went to open the door. It was my chachu(father's brother) standing out with his family. From that day to till now they tease me for this . I really laugh now for what I did that time .

Q.29 Write all things you love about your style. How does your style make you feel?

I have various style sense. 

1) Traditional / classic looks more good

2) Natural / relaxed is my favourite 

3) Western is the most likeable choice

I try new style frequently. I feel confident about every type of dresses. I never judge myself based on the clothes or outer appearance. I really feel confident about who I am . My style always make me confident no matter how I look. It's because I believe in myself. 

Q.30 If you could pass along positivity to the world ,how would you do it?

I would use the simple way . Positive vibes can be shared through various methods. Like giving a compliment , helping someone , passing a smile , motivating someone , focusing on goal and like this there are more ways .

Thank you for reading ! 

P.S : The answer is totally based on my opinion. I wrote them according to the need.